Matt – New Girl
New Girl had so many great guest stars over its seven season run, but if there’s one actor that I wish could have been in more episodes, it’s Alan Ritchson. He guest stars in the season 4 episode “Micro” as Matt, an artist that Jess starts dating. Once she discovers that he has a micropenis, she makes a bet with the guys to continue dating him and prove that she’s not shallow. However, his endowment becomes the least of her concerns once Jess gets to know Matt and discovers that he has a terrible personality. Between his tattoo that says “warrior poet,” his strange abbreviation of words, and the fact that he already has a girlfriend, Matt isn’t a great guy! But Ritchson’s comedic timing is so spot on, that I truly wish we could have seen more of him.
Young Norm Scully – Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Ritchson also made a brief appearance in the sitcom Brooklyn Nine-Nine as a young, hot, capable version of Detective Norm Scully, who is very well-known in the present day for being the stark opposite of hot and capable. During flashbacks in the season six episode “Hitchcock & Scully,” Ritchson’s Scully is seen taking down a mob boss alongside a younger, hotter Hitchcock. We also get to see how Wing Slutz became Hitchcock and Scully’s downfall. While this young, action-hero version of Scully is more in-line with Ritchson’s recent roles, it’s still unexpected to see him play the younger version of a character we’ve seen primarily as comedic relief for six seasons. Honestly, between this and his appearance on New Girl, Ritchson deserves to be on more sitcoms.
Arthur Bailey – Blood Drive
If you watched the Syfy channel at all in 2017, you might remember seeing trailers for the Grindhouse series Blood Drive, or you may have even been brave enough to watch it. I had personally blocked all memory of this show from existence until recently, but there’s no way I’m making a list of Alan Ritchson’s weirdest roles without it.
Blood Drive is a post-apocalyptic show set in an alternate 1999 where “The Great Fracking Quakes” and a global gas shortage have led humanity to develop cars that run on the next best thing – human blood. Yes, you read that correctly. In this show, Ritchson plays Arthur Bailey, an LA cop who finds himself forced to participate in a gory death race alongside Femme Fatale Grace D’Argento. This death race is full of cannibals, blood thirsty criminals, and so much blood. This show is certainly not for the faint of heart, and proves to be an intriguing entry in Ritchson’s filmography.
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